why does my baby cry before falling asleep for naps and bedtime | is a little crying ok?
If you are working on establishing great sleep for your baby, you’ve likely noticed that no matter how great of a sleeper she is, your baby may still cry before falling asleep. Of course, we never want to hear our babies cry. So why does this happen consistently before naps and bedtime?
One of the hardest parts of parenting can be when your baby is clearly tired… but still cries before sleep. Many parents immediately assume they’re doing something wrong. But crying before sleep can happen for several different reasons — and understanding the ‘why’ can help you respond with more confidence and assurance.
Reasons babies cry before falling asleep
1. Overtiredness
Overtiredness makes it harder for a baby to settle into sleep. When a baby is overtired, their bodies produce stress hormones to help them stay awake. The release of stress hormones makes it difficult to fall asleep and stay asleep.
It is important throughout infancy and into the toddler years to be mindful of the appropriate wake window for your child’s age. This is progressing each week in the early months of life, but even toddlers have a specific amount of wake time that is optimal for them. Once you know your baby’s appropriate wake window, you can make sure that there isn’t too much time or too little time between your baby’s naps and bedtime.
2. Transitions can be hard
Imagine that you are having a great time with your friends at a party and then all of a sudden, someone just carries you away and makes you go to bed! It can be like this for your baby, too. Seconds ago, your baby was in the living room with the rest of the family, and now, she’s in her crib expected to go to sleep. After around 4 months of age, your baby begins to be more aware of what is happening around her and also what she is missing out on. This makes it more difficult for her to transition into sleep as she gets older.
3. Releasing tension
Crying is one of the only ways babies communicate and regulate. Sometimes it signals a need that requires Mama, and sometimes it’s part of a normal transition into sleep. Not all crying is harmful. Of course, we don’t just leave our babies to cry for long periods on end, but as a general rule of thumb, giving your baby around 5 minutes to settle can be helpful for her to develop this skill of falling asleep on her own.
4. Undertiredness
As you are mindful of wake windows to prevent overtiredness, it’s also important to realize that sometimes babies aren’t quite tired enough to sleep. Especially in earlier months, the required wake window is lengthening almost weekly. If you find that your baby seems to alert and playful to sleep, double check that she is being stimulated enough before the next nap. It is also helpful to ensure the last nap of the day doesn’t end too close to bedtime. If your baby is taking a long time to fall asleep for naps or at bedtime, be sure to reassess her wake time.
5. Physical Discomfort
If your baby usually falls asleep without much trouble, but all of a sudden is crying a lot for naps or at bedtime, it could also be related to physical discomforts such as:
- gas
- reflux
- teething
- congestion
- needing to burp
- hunger/fullness discomfort
6. Separation anxiety and development
As babies grow and develop, they become more aware of when Mama leaves. This is a normal and appropriate reaction to Mama leaving the room when it is time to sleep.
7. overstimulation
If the environment is busy, loud, or bright, this can make it difficult for a baby to feel calm and ready for bed. Also, quick transitions or rushed bedtime can make it difficult for Baby to settle.
8. Temperament
No two babies are alike. Some babies may find sleep a little easier naturally, while others may need more support. Don’t worry, every baby is capable of developing the skill of great sleep.
9. It can be totally normal
It can be totally normal for a baby to cry before falling asleep. A little crying is developmentally appropriate and won’t have lasting effects on your babies well-being. I’m not saying we should let our babies cry for long periods, and it’s important to always listen close by to how your baby is crying. There are different types of cries, and you will begin to notice when your baby’s cry is a sign of settling or a sign of significant distress that needs your attention.
what does the research say about babies and crying?
Research has found found behavioral sleep strategies improved infant sleep and maternal mood, with no evidence of negative long-term child emotional outcomes at follow-up.
Read this post on why do babies cry and is it normal?
